7.2 Relationships

I chose to write a reflection on "The Good Enough Mother". My own mother was one who stayed home and is still home even with full grown 21+ year old children. She was always there with the limited exceptions where she attempted to go out into the workforce. The effort was only half hearted as by the time she felt she could go back to work her skills as a graphic artist were woefully outdated. She had played with a computer but had not kept her skills and contacts in the industry updated.

For myself I vowed to stay home only until kindergarten for my youngest which almost worked, however I had a bad relationship and chose to get out of it and bring my kids to the city so that I could have more opportunity to advance career wise.

I also chose to go back to school and seek a full bachelors degree in hopes that the classes and skills I would learn would help validate my knowledge to employers. I also chose community volunteerism as a spring board back into society as a working individual. This has worked incredibly well as I have discovered a wealth of skills and knowledge along with a new confidence in myself.

This new confidence has inspired my children to do the best they can and frequently they join me during some of my activities. My daughter was on the front page of the newspaper right after Martin Luther King day this year. They were on the news as well helping with setup and clean up of the even at the Fairview Recreation Center. We also participated in Kids Day in April and the children had a blast. I took them with me when we volunteered on the 4th of July in Mountain View.

They are being taught that working can be combined with having children. I feel incredibly guilty leaving them some days at the daycare but I know that I am working towards self sufficiency and that they know my goal is to have a home where they can have their own rooms and a place to play that is their own.

These values of giving to the community in addition to seeing their mother balance and juggle working, raising them and school all at once shows that I am seeing to their welfare. Over the course of the last 18 or so months I've been repeatedly called a "Super Mom" and variations on a theme. I don't feel this is a good assessment as there are a great deal of things I am missing out on while away from them. First teeth being lost, scraped knees, butterflies caught, art projects, award ceremonies and various school activities which all sadden me but I know that as long as I spend time with them when ever possible their childhood will still be a good one.

I would have loved to be like my mother always home and there to help me with homework, art projects and to play with me but I know that I will still be involved with homework, art and I play with the kids no matter what. I may not get to play very often but when I do they remember it.

I am no "Super Mom" I am "good enough".